i would never talk to you again and now i find myself texting you? i don’t know why but i missed you for some odd reason… even after all of the things you’ve put me through: all the yelling, the screaming, the arguing, and then you leaving… Even afterwords i tried to let you back in but you always pushed me away with hurtful words like saying,”i hate it when your here” or “i wish you weren’t my daughter”…. that really hurt me and effected me in all the wrong ways… i made some really stupid mistakes and hurt myself and everyone around me because i was so hurt by what you did to me… I’m not only concerned about getting hurt again but my health as well… i just kicked all the negative things, well most of them, out of my head but I’m afraid that bringing you back into my life also means bringing all of that back too… i miss you ill admit that but i refuse to be put back into that situation and go back to a life of misery and causing everybody pain. i will not go back to a life where i have to put on a show for everyone so that they think everything’s fine. i don’t want it to hurt when i try to smile. i don’t want my heart to break again because pretty soon there will be nothing to put back together… i want to live my life to the fullest and be able to smile just because i feel like it. i love you and all but your honestly not worth ruining my life over. so this is the last time. i swear it is. if things go bad even for a second I’m done. don’t expect me to call, write, text, or even look your way again. its not worth it. I’ve grown too much and I’ve come way too far for you to come back and take it away from me, even though that’s probably not your intention. I’m under way too much stress trying to figure my own life out then to have to deal with someone bringing me down constantly when they’re the ones who are supposed to be helping me grow…. you’ve missed so much of my life… its too late for I’m sorry because sorry isn’t going to bring you back to the time where i first got on a dirt bike and how happy i wasand the freedom i felt… or my first heartbreak when i needed you to hold me together and tell me everything was going to be okay… you cant make that up and nothing you ever do will change that, I’m sorry…but you can be here now and be my friend. a friend not a father. that person died a long time ago… but we can start over and try to work things out and make things better… its going to be hard but I’m willing to because my heart tells me that i should… I’m terrified right now that its going to go wrong but i have faith that God will get me through it… please don’t let this be a mistake…